February 19, 2018

The kids didn’t have school today because of President’s Day, so I took them to Chick-fil-A to use their calendar cards! This month’s treat was an ice cream cone! I did this after waking up and reading my Bible.

When I got home, I decided to copy all my old Facebook messages with Anna-Marie and Shelby to Microsoft Word so I could read them all. Mostly for the purpose of finding important dates that I know I’ll find through the chat, like when I started listening to BarlowGirl again and when I told them about my self-harm struggle.

When I finally finished with that, I worked on Jenna’s chapter of The Mask; Her Aid and finally finished it. I’m so close to finishing this book! I’m so excited! And nervous! And all the feels!

I’ve also been watching interviews of Leighton Meester, Selena Gomez, and Dylan O’brien, because I love them! And it gives me the illusion of binge-watching something without giving up too much time!

I also finally got my “Why” cover by Sabrina Carpenter to upload today!

February 16, 2018

I woke up and read my Bible. Then, I walked the girls to the apartment and went to play basketball. We ate dinner here and then I took them home. I watched several Selena Gomez videos. And I worked a lot on The Mask; Her Aid. I’m about halfway done with editing! Then I’ll be ready to publish! 🙊 Also, Dylan O’Brien is ADORABLE and I love him!

February 15, 2018 – Monte Carlo

I’ve been on a Leighton Meester and Selena Gomez kick lately. They just, they seem like such genuine people and they’re hilarious. So, naturally, I had to watch their movie Monte Carlo. 🇲🇨 Idk why I don’t watch this movie more often! It’s so cute and inspiring! It’s a lovely reminder always to be yourself, never to be afraid to take chances, and as Ghandi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

At the end of the movie, when Grace (Gomez) went to Romania 🇷🇴 to volunteer at the orphanage, I was inspired. With a sense of longing, I thought, “I want to make a difference like that.”

Then, I smiled and looked at my computer. “You are silly! That’s why you’re writing The Mask; Her Aid.” Oh! Right! Haha.

Before that, when Meg (Meester) was in Machu Picchu with her boyfriend, I felt a sudden wave of wanderlust. So, I might start going on adventures to Fredericksburg, Austin, places in San Antonio, and stuff like that soon. Or, I might just wait and hope I get to go on book or music tours some time soon! Haha. We’ll see!

Anyway, I woke up this morning and read my Bible. Then, I walked Lydia and Naomi to the apartment before driving them home after waiting 20 minutes for them after practice went over. Once home, I started working on The Mask; Her Aid some more. I now officially have five chapters finished and ready to be published after I read the book in whole! Whoo!

After watching Monte Carlo, I also posted on Instagram.

Pain and sorrow. Joy and laughter. Those are strange and curious concepts. When I was in high school, I rarely laughed out loud. I would smile and sometimes laugh quietly to myself, but I rarely laughed out loud. I thought, maybe that’s just who I was. I was the girl who laughed quietly, while everyone else laughed out loud. Today, I was watching the movie #MonteCarlo starring @selenagomez @itsmeleighton & @katiecassidy. I smiled during the movie as I laughed out loud several times. It didn’t occur to me why I found so much joy in laughing out loud, until after the movie. In high school, I battled depression. Now, I’m happy. There is joy and hope in my heart that I never expected to find high school, but I did. I watched, for the second or third time, a silly, yet charming & inspiring movie and lol’d my way through it. That is a miracle in and of itself. So, this is me telling you, whoever you are that needs to hear this, that you matter, pain fades, depression is overcome by joy, and one day YOU will laugh out loud too! ❤️💔 #itgetsbetter

Then, I decided to post a YouTube video touching on the subject of “It Gets Better” too! It’s been a productiveday!

January 12, 2018 – Best Friends and Built In Therapy Sessions!

Today, I woke up and finished watching A Cinderella Story after reading my Bible. I tried to watch it yesterday, but the TV stopped working. Then, Shelby came over and we spent four hours answering 23 deep questions I found on Pinterest. When we finished those, we answered questions from another pin that came up. As it turned out, the questions kind of gave us an impromptu therapy session that I for one really needed! I shouldn’t be surprised. Talking to Shelby at all typically gives me some kind of an emotional release. Today was kind of intense though. I wasn’t expecting to get a therapy session today. Again, I shouldn’t have been surprised. Isn’t that what best friends are for? A best friend is an extra mother, a sister, a therapist, a partner in crime, and anything else you may need. I love hanging out with Shelby, because it both saps me of energy and re-energizes me at the same time. I guess that’s what it means to be an introvert with a best friend. haha. Idk. We also took a picture, which is good, because my goal for 2018 is to get at least one picture per month with her! 1 down, 11 more to go!
After Shelby left, I watched Another Cinderella Story, A Cinderella Story: Once Upon a Song, and A Cinderella Story: If the Shoe Fits. I also worked on another chapter of The Mask; Her Aid.
Anywho, it’s now 2am, again. I’m not in bed, again. And, I’m exhausted and still dealing with stupid allergies! I’m so glad I’m unemployed right now. At least it means I can catch up on sleep I’m not going to bed early enough for!

Revival Review (Finally)

When I listen to music, watch TV shows and movies, and read books, I look for clean stories and inspirational people. I’m definitely not looking for perfection, because nobody is perfect, but I am looking for someone that I would be more than happy to encourage my younger siblings to look up to rather than encourage them not to look up to. In the case of Selena Gomez, I’m comfortable enough with how she publicly presents herself that I’m not against my siblings following her. However, I do hope that they are cautious of their admiration for her, because she has a tendency to go from being one of the most inspirational stars in Hollywood to being a more sexual star in Hollywood. All in all, I do enjoy her music, her acting, and who she presents herself to be in public. I feel much the same way about her new album, “Revival.” It’s upbeat and exciting and many of the songs have an inspirational vibe to them.

Revival – You know those moments in life when you’ve gone through the motions for so long that you’re no longer living, but simply surviving, until one day you realize that you need to wake up and do something? That’s what this song is about.

Kill ‘Em with Kindness – Ordinarily, a song as repetitive as this one tends to be annoying, but this song is different. In a world typically bent on revenge, these lyrics are inspiring enough that the repetitiveness is not annoying. Arguably, the best line in this song is, “No war in anger was ever won… kill ‘em with kindness.”

Hands to Myself – As stated in the intro, when I listen to music, I listen for clean lyrics that I would be comfortable listening to with my younger siblings, therefore, I’m not a big fan of this song. I do, however, like the line, “Can’t keep my hands to myself. I mean I could, but when would I want to?” I like this line because it’s one of the most honest lines I’ve ever heard in a song like this. It just makes me laugh to hear how transparent this line is. She’s literally saying, “I could control myself, but I don’t want to.”

Same Old Love – it’s your classic sassy break up story. Mr. Not-So-Perfect said or did something stupid, so they broke up, and Miss Independent is now singing about how much better off she is without him. It’s catchy and relatable in every way!

Sober – it’s the classic tale of a tragic love story. It’s a perfect example of a line from one of Gomez’s best friends, Taylor Swift’s song, “This Love.” The singer is basically saying, “This love is good. This love is bad.” She knows this love is not healthy for her well-being, but she still keeps going back to this guy who only loves her best when he isn’t sober.

Good for You – There are only three people for whom any girl should ever dress to impress—a potential employer, herself, and her significant other. In this song, the singer loves her significant other so much that she just really wants to look good for him. It’s cute and sweet and there’s kind of just an overall sexy feel to the song.

Camouflage – Give or take a few lines, this song is the epitome of what it’s like to drift apart not only from your significant other, but also from anyone in general. Once upon a time you were so close, but it’s been a while since you were. Now that you’re catching up it feels cold, but it’s still nice to talk again.

Me & the Rhythm – Selena Gomez is known for the dance feel of her songs. This song is one of those songs that is perfect for dancing. There’s not a lot going on with the lyrics other than a dance pop theme and that’s what makes it perfect for dancing.

Survivors – This is an inspirational love song about the beauty of how love can take all the pieces of a broken heart and turn them into something strong and beautiful. These lyrics speak of how love makes it possible to survive almost anything.

Body Heat – Words need not to be used to say I’m not the biggest fan of this song. Why would I be? It’s not a love song and it’s not inspirational. It’s just words on a page. Credits needs to be given where credit is due though. One of the lines is pretty clever—If you’re the flame, I’m the kerosene.

Rise – This is the kind of song I look for when listening to an album for the first time. It’s inspiring and empowering—the kind of song you listen to when you are feeling down and out and unable to move on. It just might be my favorite song on the album.

Me & My Girls – While the lyrics are empty, the sound is full enough to be a fun song to dance to. It’s a great song for a girl’s night out or even for girl’s night in with junk food, girl talk, and make overs.

Nobody – I don’t know who or what this song is about, but the lyrics are written in such a way that they could be applied to any love fueled relationship. On a personal level, I could use this song as a worship song if I wanted to do so. The lyrics are strong and they imply the kind of love that in the Hebrew language is Agape, which loosely translates to mean “unconditional love.”

Perfect – While we may not all know how it feels to be in relationship with someone who obviously has somebody else on their mind, I think it’s safe to say we do all know how it feels to be in love with, or at least have feelings for, someone who has feelings for someone else, and it sucks! This song fully explores the feelings behind wanting someone so badly that you are envious of the person who has captured his/her heart.

Bonus Target Edition:

Outta My Hands (Loco) – We all know someone, or have been the someone, so wrapped up in the one or two redeemable qualities of a lover that they keep going back for more even though his/her bad qualities far out way the good. This song is for the person who knows it makes no sense to keep going back but you do anyway.

Cologne – At least once in your lifetime, you’re going to meet someone who consumes your every moment. You’re going to fall for someone who is everywhere in every sound you hear, everything you see, and every scent you smell. If you’ve already been there, you can relate to this song, if you haven’t then when you do, you’ll know this song is true.