“Your beauty…should be that of your inner self,
the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,
which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
1 Peter 3:3-4
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know some things just should not be done, and yet we still do unthinkable things. If we think it will make people love us, accept us, respect us, or think of us as beautiful or worthy, we tend to lean toward choosing to do unthinkable things. Why do we do unthinkable things to ourselves? Why do we cut ourselves? Why do we have eating disorders? Why do we work ourselves out until we are utterly exhausted or until we’re nothing but skin and bone, whichever comes last? I believe there are three main reasons as to why we do these things. I also believe that each of the three reasons intertwines with each other, whether consciously or subconsciously, to add up to the one real reason why we do things.
The first reason we normally choose to do unthinkable things is because we are seeking approval from others. We want them to say we’re beautiful, worthy, and loved. I know for a fact that I have at least two friends who within the past few years have been or are currently cutters, two friends who have felt or do feel suicidal, one friend who had an eating disorder, and numerous others who have admitted to feeling constantly depressed. Each girl, including myself, agreed that she had thought, or does think, things like, “I’m worthless,” “I want to feel beautiful,” “I’m stupid,” or “I’m not loved.” Because of these thoughts and feelings, we do things that we think will make us feel better about ourselves, which leads us to our second reason for doing the unthinkable.
The next, more subconscious reason we may choose to do unthinkable things to ourselves is because someone we admire has done it, so even though we probably know it didn’t work out well for them, we do it anyway. We tend to want to be exactly like those who are closest to us and whom we admire most. So and so did this, that means I have to also, because I want to be just like her!
Finally, we do things because we think they’ll work out better for us. We think that the cutting, or eating disorder, or extra workouts didn’t work for someone else, because they didn’t want it badly enough. Or, they didn’t try hard enough. Or whatever. It’s like we think they people we know, or know of, who tried these things, are just the people who happened to be the ones who didn’t get the results they wanted.
P.S. Sorry if this is all jumbled and confusing… I’ve been trying to write it for the past hour and kept getting distracted… haha.