A Conversation with my Future Daughter

One day, when I have a daughter and she asks me about my firsts, my genuine desire is that the conversation will go something like this:

Daughter: “Mom, who was your first love?”
Me: “God” *said with a wry smile*
Daughter: *rolls eyes as if to say “wow mom”* “Well, I’d hope so mom, but I meant who was the first man you fell in love with?”
Me: *Points across the room* “Your father was my first love.”
Daughter: “Who was your first kiss?”
Me: “Your father.”
Daughter: “Who was your first boyfriend.”
Me: “Your father.”
Daughter: “Who was your first date?”
Me: “Again, your father.”
Daughter: “Wow. Really? When was your first kiss?”
Me: “Our wedding day, during the ceremony.”
Daughter: “Was it worth it?”
Me: “Yes actually, it was.”
Daughter: “Why did you wait?”
Me: “I waited, because I knew that no matter how long it took him to find me, your father would be worth the wait. I also knew that all of my friends who had been and were in relationships were rarely as happy as I was being single. I had no one to impress. So, all I had to worry about was being myself and pleasing the One who really matters–God. That’s not to say dating is wrong or that my friends who did date weren’t happy and were bad Christians. It’s simply to say that I knew that I personally could only be a “good Christian” by being single and waiting on God’s perfect timing.”
When I have kids I don’t want to say anything about dating or not dating until they come to me. Obviously there will be rules when it comes to relationships between people of the opposite sex, but until the time comes, I will simply guide them. Then when the topic arises I will encourage them to say no to dating and yes to waiting, but the only set in stone rule will be “no being alone with people of the opposite sex.” Waiting isn’t something I want to force on anyone, including my children, but it is something I want to encourage! ❤

2017 Update: I do still agree with most of what I wrote on February 16, 2013. At the time when I wrote this though, I was in a healthy place for the first time in a long time and a boyfriend or love interest would have contaminated my life in the most toxic way possible. While I still plan on waiting until I’m absolutely positive I’m interested enough in a guy that I think he’s hubby material, the only way that could happen is if I’ve been friends with him for a while or possibly if a very trusted friend introduces me to him and thinks we’d hit it off. Even then, it’d be more of a friendly hangout session for which I will pay for myself. Why make a guy pay unless I’m fully committed?

I’ve also thought long and hard about whether or not I plan to share my first kiss before my wedding day and honestly, I’m not entirely sure what I plan on doing yet. I’m not entirely against kissing in a serious relationship now, but I do still think it would be very sweet and romantic to save my first kiss for my wedding day. Why not? I’ll be saving everything else for the wedding night anyway.

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